Next Steps · Testimony · Who I am

I almost missed it

“after the fire came a gentle whisper.” 1 Kings 19:12

» If you don’t know, I’ve made the decision to stay in Pennsylvania and return to school, instead of returning to Scotland. This post shares a bit about the process the Lord led me through in determining my next step. «

A friend of mine shared a recent encounter she had with Abba. He shared with her this: “My biggest problem is the greatest gift I gave humanity… free will. The problem is He gave humanity free will to say yes to Him, but many are not. His heart longs for His creation.”

God doesn’t force His will on anyone. Frankly, a lot of us do what we want and call it God’s will because it was going to happen anyway. Right? WRONG. His will is synonymous with His best. And considering His best is NOT what we deem best, it’s safe to say we need Him leading us into the fullness of life that Jesus sacrificed Himself to give us. [Ephesians 3:19, Colossians 2:6-8]

Scotland was what I wanted and if I decided to return, of course He would’ve blessed me in that. But throughout the past few weeks Jesus taught me that it’s those who prioritize training their ear to His whispers, who are better positioned to receive ALL of what He has for them.


Somehow, by the grace of God, I caught an inkling of His whisper.

Something that made me pause. With eyebrows raised and questions on my face, I dared to ask what He wanted to say.

Jesus took me into a vision, almost like a mini-movie, and I sat front-row and made sure to catch every second.

The setting was that of a national reserve or park. And there is young woman who is adequately prepared for her destination, which the Lord showed me was a gleaming and crisp pond.

Taking long and steady strides, she was fierce to arrive at her destination. Walking along the designated path, the scene suddenly magnifies on a hand coming from the opposite direction (behind her) and gently tugging on her elbow. Like someone reaching out to catch her attention. The young woman whipped her head around and impatiently questioned the impeding delay on her mission. But before she could complete her sentence, no-one was there. Relieved but alert, she moved forward and started ambitiously walking again. The scene zoomed out again, but soon returned to the frame of another hand on her elbow! This time, the hand was bigger and definitely spoke to a seasoned and caring by-stander. The young woman stopped but didn’t turn around immediately. The gentle hand remained on her arm, until she made a move: to step forward or turn around. I was relieved when I saw that she turned around. Little did she know, it was Abba Father.

She looked at Him and He at her.

His words challenged her; “I have something to show you first.”

Fighting confusion and heartache, she responded “Are you joking? No! I’m so close! I’ll come back as soon as I’m done – I promise!”

Then He said my name. And it became clear that this motion picture was featuring me.

I looked forward at the beautiful body of water I had set my heart on, reflecting the shimmering golden sun rays of the setting sun. And then I looked back at Abba.

I can’t accurately describe the emotions I saw in His eyes, but they consisted of absolute adoration, which I knew whichever way I decide to go, His love would follow me. But that love, that isn’t dependent upon anything I would or would not do, convicted me to hear what He had to say. He is my perfect Father.

With one last longing look back at the destination I had been working so hard towards, I followed My Father; I left the clear cut path with direct eyesight to my destination, and was led hand – in –hand into a heavily wooded area of land. The scene cut off as our feet crossed over from smooth, well-kept and trimmed terrain into the floor of a forest.


That was the beginning of a 3 week process involving other visions, dreams, and miracles that indicated I was following His leading.

It seems a bit odd, as in the vision I lost my sense of vision, but in my heart, I got my vision back. I could see past the next 2 years. I gained a bigger picture.

God, what are you doing?

What the Lord wanted to do in me I was hesitant to allow, because it involved looking at my past. 2 Corinthians 5:17 clearly indicates that the old has passed away. Which is has! We are completely new in Christ. That’s not the subject I’m touching on. I was challenged to look into my past as an observer, and revisit some memories where I had some hurt, specifically regarding school.

If you read my bio on my blog, you’ll notice that I’m passionate about learning and was on the “fast-track to success” at my old university. But what you won’t know is that I came to a place where I wasn’t capable of completing my assignments on time or achieving the grades on exams that were critical to my majors. And it was then that I withdrew. I had an absolute identity crisis because I had validated myself through the positive feedback of grades, professors and opportunities.

Sometimes, the answer lies in the past. For me, I was refusing to look back. I just wanted to move on and go from glory to glory! (My own way, that was). But when I took the time to LISTEN to His heart is when I realized that He is what I want.

The Lord was calling me into a place of deeper surrender, to learn such a vital lesson from His heart: laying down something good, for something better. His best.

God resurrected passions and desires that I had let die!

In my mind I had decided it was either missions OR business. (And I know it seems obvious to some that both are possible, but to me it hadn’t ever been a thought.) Entertaining the combination of my natural skillset and passions and my missional heart seemed too good to be true! It’d be the best of both worlds. Is it possible I wouldn’t have to choose one or the other?

In conclusion: God asked me to listen to Him, even when I really didn’t want to and had NO idea what it would entail, and in return, He restored such an important part of my life and manifested Matthew 6:33, “seek first the Kingdom of God and these things will be added unto you”.

Friends…

Abba is better than we think.

Abba loves us more than we know.

Abba desires us to follow Him so that He can bless us.

He is good. So very good.

This post hasn’t been so much teaching, but rather sharing a word in hopes it encourages someone.

Thanks for reading. Blessings!

*picture credit to fineartamerica.com

3 thoughts on “I almost missed it

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